Love & Grief Love comes before grief and love abides in, with and through grief. ~Lori Kayser (To read the previous blog posts in this series, please see Article 1, Article 2, and Article 3) How do we support those in grief? On May 10, 2018, my beautiful bonus daughter died of a drug overdose. She was 31 years old and left a precious nine-year-old daughter behind. The best way I can describe the minutes after that dreaded phone call from my ex-husband is I felt like someone had zip tied my windpipe. No air could pass through. I was breathless. The proverbial wind had been taken out of my sails. Our deepest fears were realized after years and years of treatment, inpatient rehab, therapy, AA/NA meetings, sleepless nights, recovery, relapse and recovery and sadly, in Molly’s case, death. Grief is inherent in the human experience. I also want to acknowledge the universal experience of grief. If [...]

Grief:  The Universal Human Experience - Article 3 by Lori Kayser, created with her head and heart, no AI Grief is messy. Remember: “All change includes loss; all loss includes grief.” For prior Grief Articles 1 and 2, please click on the links: Article 1 and Article 2 What’s an anticipated or unanticipated change that altered your life? A cancer diagnosis, the death of a loved one, caregiving, a relationship ending, a job loss, losing your home to a hurricane, moving, the end of cancer treatments, etc. How did you process your grief? Tony and I each made a visit, different times, to Sarasota Memorial Hospital in July. Tony had two Tonic-Clonic (Grand Mal) seizures and one Absence Seizure (Petit Mal) as a result of medication and I had a toxic reaction to my cancer suppression therapy. Both experiences were scary and unanticipated. We’re still learning, adjusting, and adapting to the physical and emotional changes, losses and [...]

Grief Series:  The Universal Human Experience Article 2 by Lori Kayser, created with her head and heart, no AI “The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”  ~C.S. Lewis on Grief First, thank you to those who responded with the most heartfelt sentiments to the first article. It’s clear from your comments that help and support is desperately needed on how to acknowledge and process grief. I’m fiercely humble in this space as grief is complicated and each person’s grief process is as unique as their thumb print. I believe the griever is creative, resourceful and can heal, recover and thrive when they face their pain, suffering and struggle. I’m committed to providing information so we can learn, grow, create healthy responses to grief and support ourselves and others in helpful ways to process grief. Tony and I have been partners in crime grief for two decades. We’ve ridden the waves of grief [...]

Grief:  The Universal Human Experience by Lori Kayser, created with her head and heart, no AI “All change includes loss; all loss includes grief.”  ~Neil Stroud The two of us sat on the comfy leather chairs in the quiet room at Team Tony reflecting on Babette’s beautiful life and on the knowing, accepting and surrendering to her impending death from ovarian cancer. Her calm, peaceful presence was remarkable, possibly because she had faced and survived glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer, eight years earlier. “Lori,” she said in a resolute tone, “even a rose will wilt and die eventually.” To bear witness with a person in the dying process is a deep honor. It’s a sacred invitation to join them as their final chapter is written. I’ve been intrigued with death since I was a child. Cliff, my older brother, would put me in our Radio Flyer Red Wagon and chauffer me to the nursing home [...]

You Have a Choice (Written with Lori Kayser’s brain and heart – no AI) How do you respond to adversity, challenge, uncertainty and the complexities of life? I know, I know… A loaded question AND a very important one to ponder. You have a choice. You always have a choice. Do you want to feel peace, serenity, freedom and wholeness in your life or chaos, frustration, fear and separateness? The following quote by Victor Frankl has been instrumental in supporting me in answering this question. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.”             ~Victor Frankl A cancer diagnosis is frightening and unsettling. For many, the experience creates tremendous challenge, fear and uncertainty. This is a normal response to one’s mortality being questioned. Tony and I have talked over the years about how we can [...]

Has your health and medical treatment been impacted by the June 11th unnamed storm and Hurricanes Debby, Helene and Milton? Many of you have reached out and shared your experiences of cancelled doctor's appointments/facilities and chemotherapy and radiation appointments to name just a few of the weather impacts. This creates concern and anxiety for those going through cancer treatment. What can we do? While we can't control Mother Nature, Bob Bunting, the CEO of the Climate Adaptation Center states, "Adaptation is the only real strategy we have for the next lifetime." Bob is a dear friend and cancer survivor. He has been very helpful to me and to Team Tony Cancer Foundation in learning and understanding the climate issues and their impacts on our health. We're grateful for his expertise, wisdom and commitment to our cancer community. It's important to Team Tony Cancer Foundation that we share helpful and empowering information so you can make the best, most [...]

How do you raise $750,000 for 35 diverse cancer organizations and institutions across the country in one event? You match a visionary named Ernest "Doc" Werlin with key members of Team Tony Cancer Foundation and our community. Together, this dynamic team created the experience known as Coming Together Against Cancer (CTAC). It's actually more than a fundraiser, it's a partnership amongst donors, physicians and those affected by cancer to encourage philanthropy through education, advocacy, innovation, and participation to eradicate all types of this prevalent and non-discriminating disease. It sounds complex but the concept's quite simple. CTAC partners the brightest minds doing cancer research with generous donors who want to make a positive impact in the lives of those with cancer. The donors are inspired by the research and donate to the physician/cancer institution in a partnership of discovery to eradicate cancer. Aristotle said, "The whole is greater than the sum of the parts." This is so true. [...]